Monday, July 28, 2008

New Normal

There is something kind of beautiful about the pain you feel when you lose someone special. It is so interestingly human to have tears streaming down your face. I don't doubt for a second that animals are emotional and have feelings, but I think what separates some of the human emotion from the non-human animal emotion is that they probably can't wrap their minds around the concept of "forever". Even if my other hounds loved Travis, they may not understand that he is never coming back. Therefore, they react as though he is just gone for the day. Over time, they get used to the new normal without missing a beat. Or maybe animals know a lot more than we do. Maybe Katie looks at my tears and thinks "Quit crying. He's right here. He's not really gone."

Today seems to be my sobbing day. I have already left work and as you can see "I'm working from home"...... OK, so I am actually blogging, but I am checking work email frequently just in case I have to do something. I think it is kind of strange that the real pain hits me a couple of days later. I felt very calm about the decision and the process of letting go, but the new normal really hits hard and takes some time to get used to. Life goes on.

For now I will continue my therapy sessions with Dr. Pepper and I am having lunch with my friends, Ben & Jerry. Stephen was sweet to pick them up for me.